Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A collection of thoughts

Today was amazing.

I want to apologize for my slowness, lack of updates, lack of photos... I'm not a particularly skilled writer by any means, but...

Anyway. I've been watching the election since yesterday, totally on the edge of my seat. I was in the library, tracking the electoral votes coming in between classes. I was watching the 20 second count down to the west coast ending their voting on CNN with my friend Moririn, explaining some American politics or some such. It hadn't occurred to me when I saw the numbers changing that it would happen so quicky, but in that instant, in that glorious instant when the countdown was finished, Obama was decladed the winner. "Katta!!" I cried, in my stupid lazy broken Japanese.

I swelled with pride. I swelled with that resolute satisfaction that you only get once in your life. Maybe I'm in another country, but I was watching that moment live. Electricity shot through me, and I have never been more proud in my life.

I watched more, and maybe I'm just a big sap, but I started to cry. I just kept thinking of how the past 8 years have led our country into shame. How other countries have looked at us like this big stupid raging animal, this mentally disabled powerhouse. All of that is washed away. All that shame, gone.

And I thought of my best friend's great-grandmother. 108 years old, how proud she must be. How far she must've come in her life. Everything she saw. And how amazing that Obama mentioned her in his speech. Tears welled up. I'm just so proud. I'm so proud that it's my generation, my life, so historic. The first black president. I finally feel like I'm not living in a broken down country anymore.

I thought back to high school, sitting in that auditorium with michael, shooting the breeze. Thinking about michael mentioning obama for the first time. thinking back to how I said, "he has a winning smile."

I've been at low points in my life where I felt like everything was out of my hands, I have no control, I have no confidence. I look back, and that place in my life is so far away.

Somehow, the future's a little brighter. I don't know if I can express how I feel so transformed, and so freed... how I can say, "Yeah, I'm American!" in another country without that equating to stupid.

yay. :)

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